


Alone, Alone, And Unalone

by AsagiStilinski



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Sex, Insomnia, Introspection, Kaiba Seto Has Issues, Kaiba Seto Needs a Hug, Late Night Conversations, Late at Night, Light Angst, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Polyamory, Self-Doubt, Sleeping Together, Yami Yuugi | Atem has his own body
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-11-12 17:45:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18015476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsagiStilinski/pseuds/AsagiStilinski
Summary: I want to be alone, alone with you, does that make sense?After sleeping with Yugi and Atem for the first time, Seto panics that he's made a huge mistake and can't summon up the courage to see them again- or talk to them, for that matterYugi and Atem worry that sleeping with Seto caused a rift in their newly forming relationship with him, but neither want to be the one to bring it up to the otherSomebody is going to have to break down and be the first to say something, before it's too late





	Alone, Alone, And Unalone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Finaiarel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Finaiarel/gifts).



> For my beautifull Prince, happy birthday sweetie!! I hope you like my little angst fest <3

**12:34 A.M.**

He couldn't sleep

That wasn't surprising, insomnia was quite common for him

Usually he just worked himself until he passed out for a few hours, that was his definition of "sleep"

But this was different

This wasn't the same, typical, mindless insomnia that he spent deleting emails and adjusting code, nor was it the manic, desperate kind of insomnia caused by creative peaks, rushes of art and ideas and the need to get his thoughts onto papper that kept him up until well into the next afternoon

This was different

This was over-thinking, it was emotional, it was an inability to think, or work, or concentrate on anything, and he hated it

He couldn't distract himself, he couldn't keep himself otherwise focused, he couldn't do anything but sit at his desk and stare uselessly at the computer, getting nothing done and utterly exhausted, and wishing he could work his way through these complicated emotions

Gods, he hated emotions

He rubbed his eyes tiredly, leaned back in his office chair and covered his eyes with his hands

Big mistake

With his eyes closed he could picture _his_ face

He could see the softness of his copper skin, the light in his crimson eyes, the way his lips curved up, slow and confident

He could see the way his hair fanned against the pillows, see the way his chest arched upwards and the way his toned stomach rose and fell with every breath

He forced his eyes open, stared at the computer screen listlessly for another moment and finally decided that perhaps it would be wise to get out of this closed up space

Maybe he could benefit from being elsewhere

Not home, that was- ... there'd be too many reminders there too

He wasn't sure where, just... somewhere, _anywhere_ , anywhere but here

He hurriedly closed up the tabs on his computer, coming to his email tab and hovering over the X

_Yugi Muto_

A new email... from _him_

Just staring at the name had his image rushing through his mind

He could see the flush of his pale skin, the tenderness in his bright violet eyes, the way his eyes crinkled adoringly when he smiled and the sincerity in every movement of his lips

He could see his fingers burried in that mop of multi-colored hair, see the way his fingers danced and wove patterns into skin, the way his back arched and curved to every single movement

He swallowed tightly, shutting his computer down immediately and leaning back in his chair

He couldn't go anywhere

He couldn't do anything

These images wouldn't stop, the memories wouldn't falter, there was no way to be safe from them

He was stuck living in the turmoil of his confused, messy, complicated emotions, and he hated it

He hated this

He wanted to wish that he had never gotten involved with them, that he had never allowed himself so much vulnerability, that he had never let himself be so soft

But no matter how badly he wanted to wish that, he couldn't

He knew, deep down, in the deepest depths of his heart, that this was right

This was the answer he had been searching for for so long

Because when he was with them, he was happy

He was unequivocally and limitlessly and unconditionally happy

But was that worth suffering all of this pain and confusion when they were gone?

He wasn't sure

So he merely pulled his legs up to his chest, wrapped his arms around them, and dug his face into his arms

The room was dark, and quiet

There were no distractions to keep himself from his thoughts, and yet he knew that anywhere else, doing anything else, would only make him think of them more

He hoped that maybe like this, he could atleast get a little sleep, even if it was just a twilight slumber

He doubted it, ofcourse, but....

He still hoped

 

**1:29 A.M.**

He couldn't sleep

Rolling over in bed, he found himself staring at his partner again

There was a soft smile falling over his face, gentle and warm, and so full of love

There was nothing in the entire universe that he had ever wanted more than the former king who laid beside him

And here he was

Here he was, in this bed, alive again, with a 19-year-old game designer who had no real money or important titles or royal blood...

He was just some completely average person, and yet this... this spirit, this soul, this incredible being, had bound himself against the gaming prodigy so tightly, that even death couldn't keep them apart

He had clawed his way back into the living world, and it was just for him

He reached out, knowing it wouldn't wake the former pharaoh, and dragged his fingers slowly through his hair

He had always been such a deep sleeper....

He was in love

He was in love, in love, in love

And so _happy_

Happy, happy, happy....

So why was there such a gnawing feeling in his chest?

When his partner had come back to him, being together had been such a no-brainer, it had completely lacked thought

Distance really must make the heart grow fonder, or atleast more aware, as neither of them were strangers to their feelings anymore

Or atleast, that's what he had thought

Until a week ago

A week ago is when the dam broke

There was a certain CEO who had suddenly crash-landed in the middle of everything and none of them really knew how it happened or why, he just... had

There seemed to be a mutual need for eachother, between the three of them

It was hard to describe, it was hard to process

They had agreed to being in a relationship together, or atleast so he thought

But they had slept together the night before and things had seemed at once to be perfect and utterly shattered

He had been open to it, he had wanted it, and the more he thought about it, the more he dwelled over it these past 24 hours, the more he realized just how much things had felt right during that short window of time they'd spent together

And how much he craved for things to return to how they were then

But sleeping together.....

It had seemed to rupture something between them

When it was over, all over, he had left, making some excuse and fleeing as if he had just committed a crime, and maybe he thought he had, as ... sad, as that was, it wasn't surprising

They had called

He had ignored

They had emailed

He hadn't answered

One last email sent in the wee hours of the morning had been a last resort, and he wondered distantly if going to his office in the morning would be good- a sign of caring, a show that they really did want him around and that they were concerned- or a sign of pushing- not taking silence as a hint and trying to push and coerce him into something he may have changed his mind over himself

It was too much

This was all too much

He turned over on his other side, facing away from the pharaoh for the first time that night, and hoped that the solitude that brought would help him sleep

It was a foolish quest, but he had hope

He always had hope

 

**1:47 A.M.**

His partner was asleep

He was sure of it now

He had been waiting up for the last hour, atleast, after barely sleeping at all, for the chance to slip away

He loved his partner so much, he loved him so dearly, the former spirit would have eagerly and without question ripped his heart out vein by agonizing vein and wrapped it up in a bow to give to him, if he had asked

He would have plunged himself into darkness, would have sliced himself open and given his partner whatever fell out of his chest, would have fed himself to Ammut

There is nothing that he wouldn't have eagerly done for his partner, his lover, his best freind...

And that included handling his own messed up emotions by himself

He didn't want to keep his darling partner up with how ... strange, he felt, especially knowing that there was likely nothing he could do about it

He had been more than happy to expand their relationship to include a particular someone else, the someone else who he had had an intense relationship with from the moment they met, who had been largely responsible for bringing him back from the dead, who connected with him in ways that he just couldn't explain to anyone else or compare to anyone else

He had thought things would go easily, he didn't know why, he just felt like... all of the puzzle peices had fallen into place, why wouldn't they?

It was alot, he knew

But he hadn't expected sleeping together to cause quite the .. splinter... that it had seemed to cause

He felt frustrated and confused and unidentifiably lonely

He knew it was rediculous to feel that way, when he had a boyfreind who he loved more than the sun and the moon and the stars sleeping above him as he trekked downstairs

But there was a hurt there that he couldn't put into words, not just missing the other party involved in this relationship, but feeling... oddly isolated

He didn't want to talk about it

He didn't want to bring it up

He didn't even want to acknowledge it

He worried that he was being greedy, he worried that by confessing how off this all made him feel, he would be somehow lessening the intense euphoria he felt with his partner

He didn't know how to sort it out in his head, he didn't know how to make it ok

So he just ... laid down on the couch, grabbed the remote, and hoped that TV would drown out the emotions

It wouldn't, he knew

But he hoped it would anyway

 

**2:18 A.M.**

Seto was walking home

He had cars, and he had helicopters, and a jet, and practically an army of people who could and would drive him anywhere he wanted to be

Yet...

He was walking

He wanted the silence

He wanted the chill in the air

And he wanted to be alone

...

No, he didn't want to be alone

He wanted to be alone with _them_

He felt sick to his stomach and utterly frustrated, annoyed beyond beleif, and not knowing what to do with himself

He wanted to scream and shout, rip out his hair and have a meltdown

And yet he didn't really want to do any of that

He wanted to curl up in the comfortable silence they brought with them, under their sheets, in their bed, surrounded by them

He wanted to stay there with them and never leave

He felt safe there, even in his vulnerability

It was only after he was away from the safety of that embrace that things had crashed around him

Seto was so used to craving the loneliness, or rather, craving being alone

And in a way, to a point, he still wanted to be alone

But he didn't want to be alone by _himself_ anymore

He wanted to be alone with _them_ , to shut himself up inside of a room with them, lock all of the doors and windows and drown in them until there was nothing left of him

He wanted his days and nights to be filled with the two of them

To rise to Atem's sun, set to Yugi's moon

He wanted to be never spend another moment by himself, to only ever spend his time alone in their company

He couldn't stop thinking about it

He couldn't stop wishing it, hoping for it

So at some point- and, what point that was, he was legitimately unsure- he had found himself changing paths from his home to their's, and before he knew what he was doing, he was standing in front of the door

Should he... should he nock, or should he leave?

He wasn't sure....

He wasn't sure....

Did he want to be alone?

Or did he want to be with them?

He wasn't sure.....

 

**2:19 A.M.**

Atem left

Yugi knows, because he hadn't fallen asleep to begin with

He felt his partner get out of bed, heard him treed quietly down the hall, and waited

He didn't come back

He didn't come back

He didn't come back

Finally, Yugi found himself climbing out of bed as well, padding silently down the hall, then down the stairs, his attention perking slightly at the sound of the TV, the familiar soft light coming from the living room

Head tilting slightly, he tip-toed downstairs, into the living room, and leaned over the arm of the couch, catching a glimpse at his partner and seeing the empty, but very awake, look on his face

"Atem...?"

Apparently the pharaoh hadn't heard Yugi coming or sensed his presence- a true rarity for the former spirit, who was usually so sensitive to everything- as he nearly jumped off of the couch, clearly surprised and hopping up, breifly spooked before he seemed to register who was in front of him and calming immediately

"Ah... Yugi, I apologize, did I wake you?"

"No, but it seems that _I_ woke _you_ ," he replied gently, nodding back to the sofa and slowly sitting down opposite the end that Atem was occupying

"Oh you... you didn't wake me, partner, I was awake for some time before you moved at all," he promised, his expression warm and sincere

"Were you?" Yugi asked softly, staring at his partner in silence for a breif moment before speaking again

"Couldn't sleep?"

The pharaoh shook his head, his eyes downcast, focused on the floor instead

"Me neither," Yugi sighed quietly, pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes for a short moment

"I .. take it that you're worried about Kaiba? Or thinking about him, at the very least,"

"Yes.... you're right, and I take it that you are too?"

Atem gave a small nod, quiet and to himself, prompting his partner to reach out and very gently wrap his hand around the pharaoh's, giving it a soft squeeze, trying to reassure him

"I'm worried about him, yet I'm not sure what to do... does he need space? Or ... does he need _us_? What if we leave him alone and he really needed us to speak with him? Or what if we go to him but he needed to be alone? I don't want to make things worse.... yet I fear that our options are quite limited,"

"I know, Mou Hitori, I know," Yugi promised softly, giving his hand another squeeze, a bit tighter this time

"That's the same dilemma I've been grappling with as well, but... I think if anything is going to be settled with any of us, we need to talk, clearly the phone isn't doing us any good so ... we should talk to him in person, go to his office tommorrow, see if we can get a moment of his time and get all of this ironed out,"

"I would like that... I think you're right, I believe that would be best," Atem agreed, his fingers wrapping gently around Yugi's as he leaned in closer, cupping his partner's face with his free hand and giving him a soft, slow kiss

"Mm.... yes.... but for now, we should both go back to bed, try to get some sleep, we can't be zombies tommorrow just because of this," Yugi prompted

And although Atem didn't really _want_ to go to sleep, he didn't protest

Yugi knew what was best, and somehow, he felt that having aired all of this out would make him feel lighter and more at ease, maybe he could sleep now...

He _was_ finally starting to feel tired, perhaps that was all he needed to get some rest, just ... talking to Yugi about what was bothering him, even if it was only slightly, even if it wasn't in detail

Just this little bit was enough to help

"Come on, Other Me, let's go back to bed hm?" Yugi added a second later, sliding off of the couch and tugging the pharaoh to his feet, leaning up to give him a soft kiss on the lips as he lead him out of the living room

"As you wish, aibou," the pharaoh agreed softly

Though, as the two of them stepped into the hall and began walking to the stairs, Atem noticed something out of the corner of his eye

Pausing suddenly, and forcing Yugi to a stop in the process, he hurriedly stepped towards the door, peering out the window next to it and rushing to unlock it

"Atem...?"

He didn't answer though, he merely yanked the door open, and a second later, Yugi realized why

"Kaiba!!"

There, on the porch, was Seto Kaiba, standing with a slightly bewildered look on his face and a small package at his feet, presumably dropping it off

He opened his mouth, he was going to speak, but Yugi clearly wasn't interested in the moment, he wasn't interested in hearing him try to come up with an excuse to leave

"Come in, Kaiba,"

His voice left no room for arguments, and the CEO found himself looking down in shame, but obeying the command ever the same

 

~+~

 

**2:47 A.M.**

They all had coffee, for better or worse

Sitting at the kitchen table, with Seto staring into his drink and Atem and Yugi staring at him

No one had said anything for several moments, and Yugi was tired of the silence

"What brought you here so late?"

"Just... dropping something off,"

"That little box, you mean?"

He barely nodded, but it was enough for the smaller duelist to notice

"That's nice of you, but why drop it off now? Why not wait until morning? Or even come see us tommorrow afternoon? We could have lunch or something,"

Yugi knew why, and he was certain that Kaiba knew that he knew, but he wanted to hear him say it

There would be no way of fixing a problem if he refused to acknowledge that there was one, after all

He had to admit it

If they really wanted to fix this, then he needed to admit it

"I was taking a walk anyway, I figured I might as well,"

That was wrong, that was a lie, but what else could Yugi do?

He couldn't force him to admit to anything, he had to just bite his tongue and try to work with what the CEO was willing to say- even if it wasn't the truth

"You were taking a walk at almost three in the morning? With a random gift for us, and not intending to drop it off in the first place?" Atem asked, eyebrows raised

"Is that a problem?" Kaiba bit back

"It's unlike you,"

"How would you know? How would either of you know what is and isn't like me? You don't know me as well as you think you do- _either_ of you,"

"But we'd like to," Yugi interjected, his voice soft and quiet, his expression warm

"We would like to know you, _Seto_ , if you'd let us get close enough,"

He was tense, Yugi could tell

He could see the tension in his jaw, his fingers as they curled around the coffee cup, in every last vein in his body

Each was overflowing with tension, ready at any moment to _burst_

Maybe.... maybe that was what he needed

Maybe before there could be any improvements, any healing, any repairing.... he had to break first

So Yugi decided to break him

He reached out, his hand resting gently on top of the CEO's, and in that single moment, due to that one solitary action, a flurry of emotions seemed to cross his face, and a storm of reactions seemed to pass through him

He tensed even harder, flinched his arm back as if he were going to pull away, and in the smallest, slightest of expressions, Yugi could see him wince, the look fading as soon as it appeared

But in only a second, he forced himself to relax, to take a deep breath, the death grip on the coffee cup released by atleast twenty percent, and his eyes- full of emotion, vulnerability, a bit of fear- glanced up and met with Yugi's

"You didn't contact us," Atem said suddenly, drawing both of them to turn their attention towards him

Seto seemed notably softer and quieter, more relaxed than he had been before, but not necessarily by alot

"I wish you had, _we_ wish you had,"

For the longest, unending moment, Seto didn't speak

No one spoke

There was no sound, just ... dead silence

"I ... wish I had too,"

It wasn't an admission of much, but it was more than he had ever admitted before

_He wanted to be alone with them_

Yugi smiled, gently prying Seto's fingers away from the mug and lifting his hand up to his lips, giving his fingers a soft kiss as Atem leaned over closer and kissed his cheek

Seto's face was turning redder now, eyes refusing to meet either of the others'

"Let's go upstairs," Yugi said suddenly, standing from his chair, deciding to handle the half-full, half-empty coffee cups in the morning

There were bigger priorities now

"We can speak in the morning," Atem added, rising to his feet as well and wrapping his hand around Seto's free one

"Is that really necessary?" Seto grumbled

"Not talking is what put us in this situation in the first place so I'd be willing to say _yes_ ," Yugi said with a small smirk

"But it can wait until the morning, just as your gift can, right now, I believe we should sleep," Atem insisted

Seto heaved a sigh, long and loud, but followed them both out of the kitchen, and allowed them to lead him up the stairs

He was too tired to argue anymore

 

**3:06 A.M.**

All was well

The three of them slept peacefully, crammed into a bed that was likely too small for all of them

That was a problem that could be fixed in the future, probably, when they inevitably moved into Seto's bed

Seto slept in the middle, with Atem on his left, and Yugi on his right

They slept through the night and through half of the morning

And finally, it seemed, that all was well

No one was alone anymore

Not really, not _alone_

Just alone with eachother


End file.
